me when I got money: ha! broke ass bitch how the dollar menu taste? I wouldn’t know because it’s Big Macs only around here hoe!!!!
me when I’m broke: capitalism is inhumane and must be put to an end.
i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe
my netflix wasn’t working so i called the netflix dude and after he fixed it he said let’s try it out and see if it worked so we watched an hour long movie together and idk i think it was a date
i need a cuddle buddy, must be ok with listening to my music and spending 13 hours in bed together
Ladies, gents and non-binaries: Stephen Fry, man who possesses the most common sense of any human on earth.
does anyone actually track their periods because i dont im too lazy and its just like this really terrible surprise that i dont want every month and me trying to convince myself that theres no way its been 4 weeks already
punning should be an olympic sport please hear me ancient greek gods and make it so